|| R U H I K A ||

I was momentarily taken back by the sudden encounter , her words hung loosely in the air .

There was no thought in my mind , the words Maa just said were normal few words but havoc it was creating in me was huge .

There's a huge difference between thinking and to act on that thought , yes many times people talk to me about me getting married and I always brush off the topic with just one word ' soon ' that's what I always reply whenever anyone talk about my marrige but I wasn't aware that , that soon would me this early .

I am not scared of commitment but it's my fear which always hold me back , marrige is long journey and I need to overcome this fear before entering into new life of marrige , just the thought of going aways from my family , my home sends shiver down my spine .

Thinking of marriage didn't feel as scary as it felt now to think of really becoming someone's wife .

" Baccha don't think so hard , it totally depends on you " my train of thought was disturbed by papa who wrapped his arms shielding me from my overthinking .

" Yes betu we are just telling you but it's totally on whatever you want " stated maa her palm caressing my head gently.

" I am scared " i whispered my voice barely audible , both my parents looked at each other before asking me .

" What are you scared of Ruhi " asked papa while caressing my head .

Keeping head on his shoulder I whispered " I am scared that I need to leave this house , leave you guys " I replied but there was something else which scares me more , maybe more then leaving .

" You're not gonna leave this house ruhi it would still be your home and you can come whenever you want , just because you would be living with your in law doens't mean that this house will stop being your home "

"And who knows if he is the one you are getting married to , for now we're just meeting and marriage well it's a far thought , for now they were asking to meet and if you guys like each other than of course will think further about marrige and , betu you can't keep on holding on to your fear all your life right " stated Papa His each word carring a meaning , to make me understand that there's more life beyond my fears .

I felt the storm inside me getting calm as he continued , yes he is right I cannot keep on holding onto my fears .

i nodded my head at him before speaking " Will that be fine if i answer
Tomorrow in the morning , I want to think about it before making any decision "

" Yes Ruhi but take decision wisely while keeping your happiness as your first priority , we are with you in your decision ok " assured maa making me smile at their understanding .

" Yes now go sleep and take some rest " said papa before kissing my forehead while i bid my bye to them before heading towards my room .

Entering my room i straight went on my bed to sleep , and before I could realise I was out within a minute as the tiredness settled in to my eyes .

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" What a beauty you are huh but so sad it is going to be ruined " Laughed out one from the bunch of monsters , he moved closer towards h

I woke up with a jerk feeling my lungs constructing with the pain in my chest intensifying .

' Fuck not again I can't have this , not now this fucking anxiety attack '

Quickly getting off the bed i took my handback rummaging through it for the particular medicine .

Getting the hold of the strip of medicine quickly gulping it down my throat while the fresh tears runned down my cheeks meeting the cold floor .

Slowly slipped on the floor sitting on the cold tiles while pulling my knees closer to my chest , a sob left my mouth as I found it hard to comprehend with the situation .

Why does this nightmare's have to come fucking why , whenever i find myself losing up and forgetting about this dark memories these fuckers come and remind me about me , about my brutal truth , a truth none ever speak to me about .

This is what I am scared of more than anything less , this what send shivers down my spine , Marrying someone means sharing everything with them , with your sorrows to your happiness , your past and maybe I am not ready to share any of these with anyone .

Honestly I don't know my mind it's a mess the more I think about the stuffs the more it messes up , I want to be with someone want to belong to someone who would address me as his but at the same i am scared because I would need to tell him about the incident , the scar and everything and what if he stop loving me after hearing my side of story .

I know it sounds ridiculous to say this but this is me i overthink , i overthink a lot which is one of my weaknesses , it's ridiculous to think this because of he stopped loving me after knowing my past then he never loved me but I don't know I am just scared .

I lifted my head from my knees looking around the dark room which suddenly felt suffocating , knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore , i stood up on my feet before walking out of the room into the living room and settled myself on the swing while gazing at the stars glimmering in the darkness coloring the dark sky in the brightness of its own .

I heaved out a sigh while crossing my legs to sit comfortably , i gazed at the sky feeling calm under the brightness of it , the tears long gone from my eyes but it's remnants still sticking on my cheeks but we're covered but my long hair which cascaded down my waist .

I was lost in my own world until the sudden clearing of throat took my attention almost making me flinch , turning around i witnessed papa standing with the jug of water in his hands .

"Can I sit '' asked him to which I just nodded before shifting a little to give him space to sit .

" Soyi nahi " he asked making me look at him before replying .
[ You didn't sleep yet ]

"Nahi soyi thi per nind khul gayi and then I wasn't able to sleep again " i replied to which he nodded before he lifted his hand towards my cheek wiping the stricken tears .
[ No i did but then I woke up ]

" Per yeh aasu toh kuch aur bol rahe hai " he stated while i stayed silent still unsure what to reply when my tear stricken was right in front of him .
[But these tears they speak something else ]

" Another episode " he asked to which I meekly nodded after being silent for a minute .

Are the therapies not working Ruhi " he asked

" I don't know papa , it feels like I am fine everything's fine and the very next moment reality comes crushing my hopes " i spoke while leaning against the swing .

" I would take time ruhi it has been only 2 months since you taking therapies and the scar it's been engraved into you from last 12 years and you cannot expect your episodes to vanish in just these months right " stated Papa His arm wrapping around my shoulder offering me comfort.

" Its not like that papa but it's just that " the words died in my throat as I couldn't speak further because if i did it bring him nothing but stress .

" That's what ruhi " he urged me to continue while i kept mum .

" That I am tired of taking that shitty medicine and when I feel my lungs constructing it feels like it's the end but then I am back again into the same loop " i thought but the words which left my mouth were the total opposite .

" Nothing papa " i replied

" This isn't gonna work like this ruhi you need to speak what you feel , you did the same at dinning table while we asked what you were scared of and you just brushed it off saying you're scared of leaving this house but i know there's something else that's bothering you , you need to speak ruhi " he spoke trying to make me understand the need for me to speak .

" So tell me what is bothering you ruhi " he asked again to which I finally replied not hiding anymore .

" I am scared that I need to tell him about the scar , the marks , the reason for my nightmares and that inc.." the words died in my throat as it felt hard to let it out , papa's eyes softened before he spoke .

" You don't need to tell him about it right now and maybe you can tell him after marrige and who knows if is really the one you are suppose to marry betu so don't think much " he continued

" Moreover he doesn't deserve you if he can't understand you , your sorrows , your happiness , your past and offcourse i won't let you be with someone if i don't find him right for you and a one word from you ruhi and we won't be meeting them and is this the reason why you got episode today " said papa his words carrying worries towards my well being .

" No i guess it's came as usual as before and i didn't had one in the last 2 weeks " i replied to which he hummed .

" Anything else which is bothering you " he again asked making sure i was fine .

Yeah but it's just that honestly I am scared of whoever future he is if he stopped loving me after knowing my past " i answered telling him what's actually been bugging me .

" I won't let you be with someone ruhi who is incapable of holding the hand of his wife during her brutal phase or who is a coward that he cannot his wife's past , i understand your fear ruhi but you cannot live your whole life in fear right you need to face then and you're my bravest child Ruhi the fear doesn't look good on you " he continued

" And trust me ruhi I've met Kavyansh and he is a perfect partner i can ask for you , he is a calm men ruhi I've never seen him getting angry over any stuff other than some serious times and i would've never asked you to meet him if I wasn't sure of him so trust me on this okay " his word spread like a calm onto my anxiety , each word he spoke made me forget my anxiety he is right i can't keep on holding onto my past , my fears all my life and now I guess I understand what he meant.

I smiled at him before keeping my head on his shoulder " I Think I am ready to meet Him dad " .

" I am very happy for you baccha , bas jo karo vo apni khushi se karna not out of fear or any compulsion okay " he stard before pecking my head to which I nodded .

" Now come let me escort you to your room and you try to get some sleep ok" he said before me along with him towards the staircase.

" Now tell me what would you like to have for breakfast I'll cook " he asked as we moved up the stairs .

" You will cook are you taking off Tomorrow " i asked being surprised to which he nodded i squealed in happiness before telling him what I wanted to eat for breakfast and my words faded into the background as we reach on the floor , i kept on blabbering my fear long forgotten.

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               || A U T H O R ||

The door clicked open as Kavyansh entered his house from the office after a long tiring day , he roamed his eyes around the living room which was unusually empty .

He frowned in confusion not finding anyone before thinking to himself
"I did return early but 6 of evening isn't so early that nobody's around" shrugging he walked up the stairs towards his room .

as he reached his room but before he could enter his eyes fell in the door beside the door of his room sighing he went inside the room or you can say his comfort place .

The room consists of many pots and stuffs he made with his skills ,the room is his pottery room , his comfort room .

The clay and other ceramic material were kept beside the kiln , it has been long since he entered the room due to his busy schedule he was not able to come and spend time with himself .

In the process of becoming Kavyansh Rajvansh he forgot to become the Kavyansh who loves pottery more than anything , thinking to make something as he had already arrived early he went back today to freshen up before again entering in hai pottery room .

Sighing he went towards the stool sitting on it before taking a chunk of clay he started wedging the clay before putting it on the table .

Taking a generous amount of water he started to shape it in the way he wanted it to be .

His hands moved in a sophisticated manner each movement done precisely, his hands were now covered with clay with some of them smeared on his cloth which he wore .

He was engrossed in making the statue when a sudden a knock on the door disturbed him not moving his eyes from the clay in his hand he gave permission to enter .

" Bhai she said yess " screamed a voice which belonged none other than Eklavaya and Navya who were jumping with excitement while Kavyansh's movement stopped .

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So how was it I hope you guys like it
And I am really sorry for not uploading this whole month but my Wattpad it wasn't working from last 20 days and finally It stated working yesterday .

I'll try to upload the next episode quickly .
Thank you
Xoxo
Rooh❣️